The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 76 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.885 billion Second Best Puppet 76ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 86.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 76ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,082 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 157,245 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 531,300 per year while the poor average 34,422, a ratio of 15.4 to 1.

Stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, and breaking rocks in the hot sun now involves using your head. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 76's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 76 is ranked 268,606^th in the world and 625^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 38.94 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.